i loss many friends. some of them are really good friends. whether it was my fault or is it the fact that i was so easily forgotten, my presence or existence is not needed. i was not going to humiliate myself. there are so many times where i said, "i'm not going to talk to him/her" but in the end, when they started talking to me again, i felt happy, my ego breaks down. but when they leave me again, i felt stupid, and angry with myself. why i let them treat me like garbage? why can't i just keep my words and truly ignore people like that? the truth is i can't. and it's killing me. it's tearing me apart. well ,maybe the truth is that, i can't have friends like that in my life.
if i did said anything wrong, then i am truly sorry. probably too late for that. i can't live like this. everything that i thought were right, were all wrong. when i thought, yes, i am a good friend for her, but i am not.
the battle is over.
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